Female physicians: You’re lucky to be here

Never touch your hair. It cannot be down, and it cannot look fancy. Optional styles include bun, ponytail, or braid. I might as well shave it off! I hear you thinking it – we’ve all thought it – but it’s wrong. The only thing worse than looking like a woman that’s too hot is looking like you’re not a woman at all. Woman? Sorry, I meant girl.

Never touch your phone. Male doctors who touch their phones are using them as information gathering and analyzing devices. They are on the cutting edge of technology and medicine. They are basically Steve Jobs in a white coat.

Not you. Girl doctors who touch their phones are texting their boyfriends. Worse, they’re texting their babysitters. How’s Amy doing in the NICU? Have they taken her off the ventilator yet? This is the problem with girl doctors. They are very distracted. They are not committed to the cause.

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