I was walking in the store the other day and ran into a recently deceased elderly patient’s relative. As he walked by, I thought to myself, I better stop to say I am sorry. So I shouted to him, “Hey how are you?” He paused, and I continued to walk over and proceeded to offer my condolences. I stated “I am sorry about the death of your loved one. I know how much you cared for and loved him.” As I was saying it my heart was heavy, and I thought of the four other patients who I thought of so fondly and their recent deaths. We continued some small talk and we went our separate ways. As I was driving to the YMCA to get a quick workout in, I thought to myself — who says I am sorry to me or other physicians after patients of ours die? I thought of the four other deaths I faced this past month, a total of five in one month.
I completed my internal medicine-pediatrics residency seven years ago at the University at Buffalo. I really enjoyed my residency and feel it has prepared me well for the vast problems of primary care. However, I don’t think my residency nor any residency can prepare you for the loss of patients that you have cared for and come to know so well.
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