Last evening I crumbled in the arms of my patient and wept. This was unknown territory to me, an unexpected role reversal. For three weeks after my Mom’s death, I maintained a stoic distance as patients offered their condolences, as they asked ab…
Category: Critical Care
Physician burnout: a lack of resilience or a lack of control?
When I quit my clinic job after four waves of the COVID-19 pandemic as an intensivist, I decided not to work in direct patient care for a while. I expected harsh criticism from my colleagues. Surprisingly, that never happened. The feedback was unexpect…
Working in medicine isn’t an all-or-nothing situation
I have recently undergone (yet another) transition and am now back to living at home with my family full time instead of in an apartment half of the time. So wonderful most of the time … I think. It is amazing and a very big wake-up call that I missed …
Residency almost killed me — literally
One morning, I was sitting in resident lecture. This time was supposedly protected, but we realized fairly quickly that the work still had to be done, and “I had lecture” never really worked out well as an explanation. By this time in the w…
Coping mechanisms for medical professionals
I am a pulmonary-critical care medicine physician. I had a medical issue in 2020 and was on limited call responsibilities. When I came back, it was in the throes of the first wave of COVID. It goes without saying that the last three years or so have be…
Hippocrates is crying
My sister didn’t want to die from breast cancer. In the six years since her diagnosis of stage 4 breast cancer, she fought valiantly to stay healthy and to continue to live. A superb oncologist put her cancer into complete remission, which lasted for s…
When medicine surrenders to the body
I still get chills thinking about the moment I decided to go to medical school. I was bored in my college physiology class, watching the minute hand on the round lecture hall clock. There were just a few minutes remaining in the class, and students wer…
Remembering my grandmother in the ICU
ICU psychosis is a common phenomenon in hospitals. Most of us as clinicians deal with it well. However, the ordeal changes when your loved one is struck with it. My grandmother, always admired for her storytelling skills, is now admitted with intestina…
Preserving humanity in the ICU [PODCAST]
Subscribe to The Podcast by KevinMD. Catch up on old episodes! “Five days before this story begins, where everything is upside down, and the end is the beginning. Me, standing in my PICU, slowly approaching that cradle, then removing the medicati…
Seemingly unimportant acts make a big difference
We were reminiscing recently at a brunch we set up. It had been many years since we had seen each other. Eventually, we went our separate ways. But we reconnected once again. Anna was one of our night shift nurses. She was bright and articulate. She ev…
