A good friend of mine, B., once told me a few years ago that before her divorce, her husband was verbally and occasionally even physically abusive toward her. Somewhat shocked by this news, I expressed how glad I was that she had gotten out of that situation.
I did not think that B. would be a typical victim of domestic abuse. Coming from an affluent background, we met as co-workers in a laboratory after college. B. always came across to me as strong-minded, goal-oriented, and intelligent. It was her who convinced me to pursue medical school so many years back when I was considering declining the admissions offer I had received. When I graduated from medical school, she was my only guest at the commencement ceremony. She insisted on coming. The daughter and granddaughter of physicians, she had ambitions of becoming a doctor as well. I was so proud of her when she told me that she got in.
Domestic abuse can, unfortunately, become a recurrent theme to an individual. Its victims appear to learn that abuse is the normal way relationships are formed, and indeed, it is common for people to be attracted to those exhibiting abusive behavior. It is an unexplainable magnet to those who have never been victims of abuse.
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