Author's posts
Repressed memories of a tragic ICU assignment
Sometimes, the most traumatic events happened when I was young and new and just starting my ICU career. When you least expect it, those repressed memories come glaring at you. Thinking I had tucked this tragedy away forever, and then within a flash — 2…
Domestic violence: May the circle be broken
My youngest daughter just got married to a fine young man. She was beautiful and radiant. As I gave my daughter away when the minister told me to, I sat down next to a picture of my deceased husband. He passed away four years ago. Lisa was our last chi…
Just another night for a mental health crisis counselor
It was my turn to sit for the next 8 hours in the middle of the night at the mental health crisis center that’s run by a team of therapists and social workers with the community mental health center. We regularly collaborated with the local polic…
The degradation and devaluation of nurses
Where do I begin? Maybe at the beginning. Let’s start with the degradation and devaluation of nurses across this country. For decades, I lived the devaluing of nurses. Daily huddles from our nurse managers, ER nurses, ICU nurses, and behavioral health …
Is it a badge of honor to refuse the vaccine but choose to die?
You know that if you don’t get vaccinated and you don’t wear a mask, you potentially will die. You go to super spreader events, big groups at beaches, football games, baseball games … loads of people laughing and clapping, and shoulder to shoulder. You…
The COVID killing fields
I go to the hospital cafeteria to unwind from this night — another unpredictable one with irrational patients that randomly attempt to assault the staff. This time, they missed. Behavioral health. Land of the psychotics and schizophrenics. But an incre…
The moral destruction of ICU nurses
Maybe we can take a deep breath — and breathe out slowly. Perhaps we can check our pulse. Go on that vacation far away or visit a beach and watch the crashing waves. Listen to the seagulls, the breeze, the blue skies. And turn our cell phones off. But …
The horror of keeping a loved one alive at all costs
He was in his ICU bed without movement or brain stem involvement. His weight was down to 90 pounds. His six-foot frame and skeletal body made me gasp. After countless sessions with the patient’s daughter to make her 92-year-old dad “comfort…
The memories of a nurse’s old car
Today. Finally, a day off. I could oversleep, roll out of bed, then make a pot of coffee — and prepare for a “do nothing” day. But today is the day. After dealing with more electrical problems on this 160,000-mile-plus car, I will say goodb…
Today is the day you’ll have to die
She was listless in bed with agonal breathing — only 63 years old. Before stage 4 colon cancer claimed my mother, she chose to come home to her house … her bedroom, where she’d stare out her window at the dogwood trees that symbolized the blood o…
